I am my father's daughter.

I woke up to what seemed like a perfect morning. Ate, relaxed, took a shower, saw a movie, caught up on some news. There was a new hope in life. I answered every phone call with great enthusiasm expecting some good news. Every call I answered was a little disappointment but I told myself, 'everything good takes time, may be they'll call tomorrow'. The very few souls left in college station had also gone to Dallas for the long weekend and I was surprised no one told me they were going but its OK, I thought.

Just a few more days and I'll be there, with a new apartment, wake up on a new bed, have new responsibilities to worry about, drink coffee in a hurry to avoid being late to office, drive in the traffic for 30 minutes and look at my watch ten times in a second, come back tired in the evening, watch TV as I cook my dinner, sleep early to wake up early and wait for Friday evening, catch up on sleep, laundry, Indian restaurant and friends on weekends, look for deals to fly to India, drive to CS to meet with friends because I'd miss them..Hmm...just a few more days for all that to be a reality ...

And so like some reflex action, I pick up the laptop and open my mailbox. I don't know why I ever check mails because good news seldom come in emails, but you know how I am sometimes totally devoid of logic, I open my mailbox at a wierd 11 0'clock in the night and what was awaiting me?! Lo and Behold ! a mail from the HR of the company that I have been building my every hope on, that my every dream manages to capture! I dont even have to open to see what s inside, its always the same ' Oh you are so great and its surprising how someone so extraordinary could be walking on the face of the earth, and its a stroke of great luck how you have everything we ever want in a hire but we are messed up like that and we have no clue why we can't hire you but oh, you have the privilege of getting your resume stored in our hall of fame database for the next random # of months only to be overwritten by another unsuspecting candidate's file, thank you! '. Inspite of knowing the lines very well I still open these mails and the only word I ever manage to spot is 'regret'.

I rewind and try to see what was wrong but am left as clueless as all the earlier times I have seen this kind of mail. This time it was a little more disappointing because I hoped a little too much ( the word little is really not little!) . I am ashamed but I have to agree, I couldn't stop the tears much as I fought them. It felt like everything around me was falling apart. After all the fussing and crying was over, my eyes were dry and I was tired of being disappointed. Then I thought, it was n't really the end of life. This wasn't how I was raised to react to life's minor adversities. My dad fought his every way up. He struggled to get everything and anything he ever wanted. He didn't have friends to call him every time he was unhappy, he didnt need anybody to tell him to fight it out and have confidence. He can proudly claim to be a self-made man and look at me, I need people to tell me I am good. I need people for me to restore my confidence in me. If I had even a trace of his traits I should n't have reacted the way I did today.

I finally told myself, I am going to fight this out in every possible way I can. I am going to take the hard times and live through it and live it well and I do believe there's no way I can't get what I want. I will give whatever it takes to get past this phase and look back and smile. The day when I look back and the feeling of having fought well fills me is not very far for afterall I am my father's daughter!

Thanks V, Pri, A, Dana and PP for being there!