Life's about taking 'THE' risk...
This post is dedicated to a special friend of mine....!
There's this friend of mine who was and IS single (I'd say that s the way to go/be but she thinks o/w) has this great gang of friends who she thinks are absolute fun and are very nice people. Heck ya , they are! no two ways of saying it..but the complication arose when my friend being the person she is, unassuming, not reading between lines(when she had to!) met this guy in that special gang of friends...well, everything was just the same...everyone to her were just the same, but when this special someone gave her special attention, our Miss. Sensible chose to not see it!
And so as friends they all hung out and when they did, obviously my friend got to hang out with this other person who showed signs of liking her ...when she says this, she's smart enough to add a disclaimer and so the disclaimer goes 'May be not, May be he was just being nice and it was all just a fit of my imagination'! But here lets just assume this guy liked her. There came a point where she figured that she liked this guy too but the ego in her would nt let her show it, so instead our Miss. Whatever brushed off whatever signs/hints came her way..! But you know whats ridiculous, she'd want to talk to this guy, but she won't call, she'd want to hang out but she would nt go when they all went out together and back at home she'd crib abt it like a zillion times!
So she went on hoping to get together with this guy, but God only knows what she thought in that little pea sized brain of hers(Yes I blame it all on her!) she thought that magically some one will do something and it will all happen! Poor thing did nt realize if she wanted something to happen it was only HER who had to do something abt it..! or Maybe she for some strange reason she didnt realize that there s a whole wide world out there and if a guy doesnt see any kind of signs from a girl, he'd just probably move on to who's next!
She kept waiting, doing nothing abt her growing liking for this guy waiting for something to happen on its own and something did happen on its own!!!
To her 'major' disappointment, One day, she found out that this guy found someone else who'd apparently become the 'love' of his life and he the 'love' of that other girl! Whats sad is that my friend knows him longer than that other girl and she'd know him even a little better than that other girl! Now lot of people say time is not important to know/understand/like a person, but I beg to differ ! I STRONGLY think that only if you have hung out with someone and have known him for a while, you can be fairly sure u understand him or even like the person he is!
So even at this point none of her friends in that gang even have a clue that she liked this guy so seriously! Not even the guy..! May be he was also a little 'duh' coz he s also been blind to the subtle clues as my friend claims!
Now she finds it so difficult to hang out with her friends gang whenever this guy's around, coz she says she is not able to stop liking him just coz he belongs to some one else now!
Too bad I say! Indifference won't work, Subtle hints wont work! If you like some one, you have to just 'shamelessly' come right out and say it in the open, else, you'd better be prepared to sit back and fret abt it later and no one's going to be able to help! Well, some of us tried telling her that she should ATLEAST now, go tell this guy that she did like him, but the 'fair' person she is she does not want to do it because of two reasons, one being that she does not want to spoil the relationship this guy is into, two being, she'd rather live assuming that the guy liked her and it didnt happen coz of her feigning indifference than find out that everything was just a fit of her imagination! I do not care about the first reason that she gave me coz I totally believe in 'Everything's fair in love and war', I might sound mean but all I care for now is my friend but the second reason seemed reasonable!
But you know what I think is worse, if they both actually liked each other and the guy thought the girl was just being nice to him like she is to everyone else, and if she liked him and thought the same too!! Life's about taking the little risks...!
(Disclaimer: What I said above reflects what I think should be done, not what I 'd actually do should I find myself in the same situation...you get the idea right? ;)haha)
K..back to my friend..
Now, She feels bad whenever she's around this guy or whenever someone talks abt his new found 'girlfriend' but she feigns happiness! I feel bad for her but I am darn angry at the same time coz she brought this on herself!
A person like her deserves nothing less than the very best in life and if she thinks the very best for her was this person, she DEFINTELY deserved to have him! But its a little too late and I hope that she meets this one amazing person who d make her feel like all that happened happened for good!
..So to you my dear friend, you are the best and you deserve nothing less than the best, it shall happen to you sooner than you think!
There's this friend of mine who was and IS single (I'd say that s the way to go/be but she thinks o/w) has this great gang of friends who she thinks are absolute fun and are very nice people. Heck ya , they are! no two ways of saying it..but the complication arose when my friend being the person she is, unassuming, not reading between lines(when she had to!) met this guy in that special gang of friends...well, everything was just the same...everyone to her were just the same, but when this special someone gave her special attention, our Miss. Sensible chose to not see it!
And so as friends they all hung out and when they did, obviously my friend got to hang out with this other person who showed signs of liking her ...when she says this, she's smart enough to add a disclaimer and so the disclaimer goes 'May be not, May be he was just being nice and it was all just a fit of my imagination'! But here lets just assume this guy liked her. There came a point where she figured that she liked this guy too but the ego in her would nt let her show it, so instead our Miss. Whatever brushed off whatever signs/hints came her way..! But you know whats ridiculous, she'd want to talk to this guy, but she won't call, she'd want to hang out but she would nt go when they all went out together and back at home she'd crib abt it like a zillion times!
So she went on hoping to get together with this guy, but God only knows what she thought in that little pea sized brain of hers(Yes I blame it all on her!) she thought that magically some one will do something and it will all happen! Poor thing did nt realize if she wanted something to happen it was only HER who had to do something abt it..! or Maybe she for some strange reason she didnt realize that there s a whole wide world out there and if a guy doesnt see any kind of signs from a girl, he'd just probably move on to who's next!
She kept waiting, doing nothing abt her growing liking for this guy waiting for something to happen on its own and something did happen on its own!!!
To her 'major' disappointment, One day, she found out that this guy found someone else who'd apparently become the 'love' of his life and he the 'love' of that other girl! Whats sad is that my friend knows him longer than that other girl and she'd know him even a little better than that other girl! Now lot of people say time is not important to know/understand/like a person, but I beg to differ ! I STRONGLY think that only if you have hung out with someone and have known him for a while, you can be fairly sure u understand him or even like the person he is!
So even at this point none of her friends in that gang even have a clue that she liked this guy so seriously! Not even the guy..! May be he was also a little 'duh' coz he s also been blind to the subtle clues as my friend claims!
Now she finds it so difficult to hang out with her friends gang whenever this guy's around, coz she says she is not able to stop liking him just coz he belongs to some one else now!
Too bad I say! Indifference won't work, Subtle hints wont work! If you like some one, you have to just 'shamelessly' come right out and say it in the open, else, you'd better be prepared to sit back and fret abt it later and no one's going to be able to help! Well, some of us tried telling her that she should ATLEAST now, go tell this guy that she did like him, but the 'fair' person she is she does not want to do it because of two reasons, one being that she does not want to spoil the relationship this guy is into, two being, she'd rather live assuming that the guy liked her and it didnt happen coz of her feigning indifference than find out that everything was just a fit of her imagination! I do not care about the first reason that she gave me coz I totally believe in 'Everything's fair in love and war', I might sound mean but all I care for now is my friend but the second reason seemed reasonable!
But you know what I think is worse, if they both actually liked each other and the guy thought the girl was just being nice to him like she is to everyone else, and if she liked him and thought the same too!! Life's about taking the little risks...!
(Disclaimer: What I said above reflects what I think should be done, not what I 'd actually do should I find myself in the same situation...you get the idea right? ;)haha)
K..back to my friend..
Now, She feels bad whenever she's around this guy or whenever someone talks abt his new found 'girlfriend' but she feigns happiness! I feel bad for her but I am darn angry at the same time coz she brought this on herself!
A person like her deserves nothing less than the very best in life and if she thinks the very best for her was this person, she DEFINTELY deserved to have him! But its a little too late and I hope that she meets this one amazing person who d make her feel like all that happened happened for good!
..So to you my dear friend, you are the best and you deserve nothing less than the best, it shall happen to you sooner than you think!
posted by Indy at 10:48 AM
24 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Your poor friend indira. Why don't you drum it into her head that it doesn't pay to be nice.
Indira, I think you are talented for writing soap operas. I think if you forget about engineering, and every day write about what's happening to your friend, then sell the story to some production company in Hollywood, you can become rich in one night. Just like J. K. Rowling, but she's a single mom and you're not... He are some ideas to add to your story to make it even more interresting: your friend has an evil twin and that guy falls in love with her, that guy is murdered and she is accused of killing him...
- Ask her to write her thoughts out in a diary. It will help her to sort things out and understand herself.
- remember,
"For when i am weak, it is then that i am strong" - St.Paul
- If you are nice to other people to expect something in return, then be prepared to go around telling people that it doesn't pay to be nice. No disrespect; while i may not have had my fair share of pain it is a joke to the blame the world for anything. It is a singularly human malady. If you must, do so, but also learn to forgive.
well, no one here is blaming the world for whatever happened..all I'm saying here is if she liked somebody its she who can make it work..!if the guy led her on and turned away, he doesnt deserve anyone! but if he didnt know she liked him n he chose someone else its entirely her mistake!
sun rises, crow flies,
flowers bloom,
young lad enthralled with new love,
friend dies,
lamb bleats at the butcher's,
child falls,
young woman weeps tears of lost love,
man relishes lamb stew,
old lady on the sidewalk watches people dine and wine,
couple reads the newspaper together,
stars appear in the sky,
the moon rises from no where.
It is evident that you like the guy and are masking it by writing about a friend! Who is this guy and why can't you tell him?
Well Ms/Mr.'Smart'Anonymous..
I do not have to mask anything in my own blog! n if I like a guy and think he's worth fighting for...I'd fight it!!
perceptive reading between the lines. good going man!
Thanks...all anonymous readers, pls leave ur name if u can!
why would i do that? wouldn't want to be the recipient of some brutally 'violent procedure' that a lot of women seem to be advocating lately!
Vikram..You couldn't have been more obvious!
was intended. but there is one more person. i have no idea who that is - "truly anonymous"; i am not going to tell you which ones i did and which the other person did. bloggers code! :-)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
happy to have received a pardon. going to hit the sack. this was nice. catch you later.
good night.
watch the hindi movie "Raincoat". Tough lessons; reality in your face. The best thing for someone in this situation to watch. i just finished watching it, instead of even starting on an assignment due in 15 mins. The movie is definitely more instructive than my course; but that is a different story.
if you are feeling low; the main thing that gets you down is proabably the fact that you are alone in whatever you are facing. This movie reminds you that you are never alone, even when you are utterly convinced you are.
But how? I don't get it completely!
about feeling low or how the movie brings it all together?
p.s.are you humouring me, just because i like to read my own writing? this page is begining to look more like my blog than yours:-)
I dont understand how u think I'm feeling low
How Raincoat is relevant to this
?
n ya u write about something 'hot' n u shall have a zillion comments too:D
ahhh! you reading each post individually. the "you" in "when you are feeling low..." is a general "you"; switch it out with a "one".
thats exactly what I'm saying too..this is abt a friend of mine n not me..vena ava name, ph.no. address ellam tharen..venuma?
why are you getting so worked when people say it is about you? even if this situation isn't about you, this certainly has struck a chord with you.
empathy: understanding another person's feelings by remembering or imagining being in a similar situation.
the question is, what does your friend's situation remind you of? No answer needed.
you keep harping on that same point again and again, no disrespect, it almost feels like even you don't believe it but by repeating it, you may come to believe it yourself.
( i should have stayed anonymous, too late now...:-) )
do you really believe that when you like somebody, you can actually look at yourself in the third person and decide if it is just a crush or something more. Does crush have a definition or does love? Doesn't everybody remember their childhood crushes and aren't there many people in loveless marriages? A crush isn't insignificant. It is the begining of a spiral that loops back into itself. It builds in intensity and then goes back to the starting point only to start again. When reciprocated, you can keep the process going (that is commitment). If not, it doesn't start or stagnate s. Each stage of the spiral is worth fighting for; it would be foolish to think the pain of things going wrong at the begining would be different from some that at another point. That would be a logical train of thought. Logic has no place in this.
(p.s. i am a 97 yrs old, i just had skin transplant!)
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