FedEx man

There are those moments when a completely unrelated and unexpected person makes your day in the most unassuming way. I am not quite where my faith in humanity is shaken and all but let's just say it could do better. The guy I'm alluding to in the previous sentence restored it effortlessly.

I must have been the perfect candidate for the mail-centre guy to practice his marketing skills on; when I walked in with the UPS package he promptly informed me that the UPS pickup for the day was done. I had made peace with the fact that my package would ship tomorrow morning but..but he enticed me with the fedex offer, which he said would mean my package would reach the destination the next day morning. The cost of doing so did not seem outrageous and I had a slight pinch of a thrill that my package would reach early which in-turn meant that the purpose of sending it would also be expedited by that much. So without much thought I consented.The paperwork was done, I was arranging the contents of the package when the FedEx man had come by and was patiently waiting. I only looked up for a brief second, flashed a quick and possibly incomplete smile at that man and went back to arranging the contents.

The mail-center guy hurried me, appropriately so, and dutifully informed me that the FedEx man was only waiting on my package, lest his job was done at this center. I looked up again and begged him for "2 minutes". I don't know how the magic number was arrived at as we all know it's never really just "2 minutes". I am sure he knew that too. The kind-face simply smiled and told me to take my time and that he was fine waiting on me. Now the best I could do do deserve that kindness was hurry up and so I did. The package was sealed, passed to the FedEx man, I thanked him in the most Indian way with a 'vanakkam' (I guess unbeknownst to me I do that  to reinforce the genuineness of my gratitude), he nodded with a smile and re-instated that it was not a problem.

As I was paying for the shipping, the mail-center guy handed me an 'important document', to my shock and complete shame I realized that it was the most central part of my package. I ran outside in a frenzy and noticed the FedEx van turn around the complex and drive away. My anger was split in focus- between me and the mail-center guy. well, I thought, if he hadn't rushed me, I would not have blundered. I almost told him the same thing too. He had the kindness to not retaliate but had the smarts to clue me in on where the van would stop next. Luckily it was not too far away. I followed his directions and surely enough I found a FedEx van parked in the spot that fit the description. The driver had gone inside the building to pick up more packages. I waited hoping that it was the same guy and van, that he would not get annoyed at my blunder, that he would let me alter the package, that it was possible process-wise to intercept a package and add 'contents'- so much had to line up. After 15 minutes- what seemed like hours to me,  I saw the shipping cart inside the building wheeling towards the door. There he was the same kind face- with a smile and surprise that I had chased him down. He inquired about why I was there and when I told him that I kind of missed the central element of my parcel, he assured me that it was no issue to get it fixed. He found my package, handed me a brand new envelope to transfer all the contents to, printed a new label and finally there it was a new package, all neat and pretty holding all its rightful contents. While I apologized over and over again, he consoled me that this happened all the time and it was not an issue at all. He said he was glad I could find him  and I repeated after him, but I couldn't imagine more kindness than I was met with. One of those moments when so much gratitude fills you and  your expression fails you. 

I drove away thinking, sometimes the most unassuming people leave a remarkable impression on you, this guy picks up packages for a living, no one fusses around him, no lime-light, no recognition, much less acknowledgement, but is rife with kindness and good nature.  He is the kind of person everyone wants to meet in every walk of life. 

Thank you FedEx man for teaching me a lesson or two on a busy Thursday. 

Annie

Mom and I just got back from our trip to Cleveland and watching Annie just made every bit of the effort worth it.

I usually don't write reviews of anything, more like never. As a matter of fact this isn't, just a chronicle of sorts. If there was such a thing as the book of milestones in our family, Dhiksha's Annie could most certainly be an episode.

So here goes the rant.

The Before:

Just before the play, Dhiksha was getting ready to leave to school to get dressed - just about everyone of us were fussing around Dhiksha, bustling with hyper-activity- which did not include charging the camera of course, running around her doing nothing useful mostly, but Dhiksha sat there poised, contained and unaffected by the chaotic surrounding.

After she left, the rest of us spruced ourselves up, carefully so though, keeping in mind, the subtle instructions from Dhiksha to not look overdone.

We reached her school just in time and may I say the school building said a lot by itself. It was a beautiful campus, and if school buildings could have a character, this one had one of the finest.

We stood outside the auditorium, waiting in line, grinning ear-to-ear, which I believe could only be attributed to the anticipation pent up in the last two days from all the rave reviews we had heard from Deepa akka, Kavin Kavya, Dhiksha’s piano teacher and the trailer I caught from Deepa akka’s video camera. We caught some pictures in the bulletin outside from the Friday screening of Annie and needless to say, Dhiksha was in most of them. I almost wanted to tell all the people standing there that we were the proud family of the lead character, but wanted to save much embarrassment for Dhiksha.

We got in 30 minutes prior to the show and managed to get some decent seats, second row, very close to the stage. It was good in a way and few lines down, you will know why.

The During:

The auditorium was full, seats about 300 people I think. Manju, Suji, Navi, and Uma also came by to partake in the pleasure. At precisely half past two, there was absolute silence and the play started. The very first scene, I was searching for Dhiksha but realized shortly after, she was yet to make an entrance. The wait was worth it. She entered as Annie and from that point on I was all eyes and ears. When she broke out into her first song "Maybe" I could not stop wishing each and every one of you were there. If it was ever possible for 300 people to be enraptured in disbelief, then this had to be it. 10 minutes into the play and I was already swelling with pride. Each scene, each song just kept getting better, mind you, no exaggeration, after every scene my arms were all up in the air, clapping like a giant monkey. Mom had to almost shush me and this is why I was happy I wasn’t in the very first row distracting the actors and the audience.

Intermission came and I almost felt like I came out of a trance. Adjectives were already beginning to fail me, when Gowri akka asked “how do you like it so far". Really, there is no telling how the play was, how she performed or how she simply blew your socks off. You just had to be there, witness and feel it for yourself.

I turned towards the other side and Amma had almost the same feeling, just the reaction was different. She was so caught up in the story, and Dhiksha's acting was so real, it really made her feel the pain of Annie, she got teary-eyed. In attempting to translate this in English, I might lose the essence, so here I quote her "Papava paaka pavama irukku. Appa Amma irunthum anathai mathiri nadikuthu". She had a hard time telling the reality apart from the play. I chuckled but secretly, I was very touched too, by her acting. The random lady behind echoed the same emotion.

I walked out to get some fresh air prepare myself for act -II. As I was walking out, some old man, looking about 60, was asking another less older man, wide eyed, full of admiration "WHO IS this Annie? She is unbelievable and mind-blowing" , I was walking few steps ahead of them and cheaply overheard the conversation, but even more shamlessly so, slowed down, turned around and told them" Oh ,She's my niece. Her name is Dhiksha Balaji". How cheap of me I kept thinking, stealing the shadow of her glory, but who cares :)

Gowri akka was walking ahead of me and the other man pointed out," it's HER daughter" and they went on, while I walked ahead scoping for more admirers whom I had to duly enlighten about who Annie was.

Act-II resumed and I realized it was not only Dhiksha but the whole cast that was putting up such an unbelievable class act. It was hard to imagine that them- the otherwise jolly, eight-graders sitting at the cafeteria sharing a silly joke, prancing around randomly were there up on the stage as full-blown actors playing a vile warden, a middle aged billionaire, a funny Roosevelt, a stern steward and ofcourse our very own 11 year old chirpy, kind, childlike-and-mature-at-the-same time Annie.

The songs were so good and you don't even have to listen to them over and over again to acquire the liking. It immediately strikes a chord with you, imagine even amma singing "Tomorrow, Tomorrow” moving her arm like Dhiksha did. Alas, the play ended, with a happy note of course and all the characters came out on the stage; the orphans together, the hoovervillites, the newyork city dancers, servants at the warbucks mansion, the steward, daddy warbucks, his pretty assistant, president roosevelt, senators, the mean warden and her vile accomplices, and finally Dhiksha made a grand entrance as Annie much to a roaring applause. Just to be there at that moment, made me feel like a million bucks. I was thinking, I am glad I made it.

And the After:

Full of adoration for her singing and acting, the mind refused to work with me. We all met her at the cast party, hugged and congratulated her and that's when words failed me. I couldn't appreciate her with anything more than a mere 'awesome', 'amazing'. There were a bunch of girls walking through the corridor yelling " Dhiksha Dhiksha ..." . Mama and Akka got referred to as ‘Annie’s Dad’ and ‘Annie’s Mom’. I believe they were at a loss of words too.

On the way back, I was imagining how dad would have been smiling his way back home, his mouth full of teeth, swelling with pride had he watched the play.

I tried my best to bring out in words the whole scene and all our intangible feelings. It is very difficult but a sincere attempt at that. The least I could do to capture the moments, not the least of which can undo the damage of an undercharged camera that failed to capture it visually.

Each one of us should not only be happy and proud but must also congratulate her on this stellar job.

To you Dhiksha- the only thing that makes you bigger beyond this wonderful achievement is accepting the praise, admiration and compliments without letting any of that affect your natural humbleness.

Finally to Kavin, Kaavya, Pranav, Tharoon and Niyatti - This is just a beginning to one of the many such memorable events where each of you shine, while the rest of us sit back and enjoy being proud of each one of you.

a toast to the Tomorrows !

As long as I am back, it does not matter how long I've been gone!

Dear Blog,

I know I have done no justice to you by going on hibernation for so long, but its like reconnecting with a best friend. Its exciting and I don't know where to start. There is so much to catch up on.

But let's see what are the major life changing events in the last 2 years?

I got engaged.

I got promoted.

I got married.

...

...

...

that's it! I actally summarized 2 years of my life time in 3 lines ?!

that or I have short-term memory loss or I have lost my way with the blog where simple events like raning and drinking tea used to take up a whole post themselves.

well, I have to find out. But for now, glad to restart the connection and welcome back to me!

Grey

Flowing on her cheek
so soft so pale
grey strands of hair
each tell a tale
of a lass they belong
her journey so long
of joy and some jolly
sorrow and melancholy

of her days as a kid
with loving kin and kith
siblings five that soon became four
a loss ; a sore
no sorrow could be more
young she was; full of glee
naive her ways; free as a bee
many a times her heart would flutter
no sooner would it deter
none that her skin reveals
but all that her soul ever feels!
emotions would sink
oh! one more in the dark dingy well
to think of in the days nearing knell
But there is a lord
and so a lad
whose love lives
and so her life is!
Their days together
that seem not thither
full of joy; plentiful love
nothing prettier could ever be wove

Strange it should seem
when as a kid
no words she could utter
everyone doted for anything she could mutter
Now it seems her soul
hath finally found utterance
she has a story to tell
but no kith nor kin
to share the memories so rife
of her joy,love and life.

Dreams

I thought the aspect in my life that takes atleast more than half my energy warranted a post definitely!

My dreams - if you know me well, you probably know my dreams better! I am known to have wierd dreams and the most popular theory that circles around this topic is "Oh, they are just manifestations of your sub-conscious".

I don't think sub-consciously, I want to climb a huge "shiva-ling", have a hole in my heart and stop the blood from draining through that hole using a mere tape, hang all my friends, be abused, kidnapped, beaten, or see my mom's hand infected in half, marry my own sister or see my friend raped.

My dreams haved the most illogical way of connecting the day's events too!Like for eg., This one day, I spent a frustrating one hour searching for cello tape, my cousin was talking to my about new borns and why they hold them upside down, the same day I was watching a show on open-heart surgery, result-> in my dream that night, I have a huge hole in my heart, all the blood in my body is draining quickly, I am worried blood supply to my brain might be cut-off and all I have is two minutes, to stop the blood from running out, I put a cello-tape on the hole and save myself and tell my self, "Sheesh I am a genius"! I wake up and the genius in me flies out the window, only thing that's left is a restless, dazed, stupid and confused me.

I have nights after nights of sleeplessness because apparently my "sub-conscious" coughs up some ridiculous and impossible series of incidents and events in my nightmares and much as I console myself about the lack of logic in them, I wake up with a start and break out into a cold sweat!

All I want is a peaceful, restful & dreamless sleep! Too much to ask for??

Tea & T-storm

Even doing trash can be more interesting than preparing for an interview. Given that, imagine the craziest rain ever, pouring down your balcony like there was no tomorrow. It was just too irresistable. As if the rain by itself was not enjoyable enough, I made hot strong elaichi seasoned tea and stepped out to take a 15-minute break. Hot cup of tea, strong aroma of tea and elaichi combined with the fresh smell of rain, need I say more?

I was blankly staring at the heavy downpour. It was better than meditation. I was not thinking anything. My mind was blank. I was just looking at how effortlessly the rain fell, broke down and dissolved into pretty and perfect ripples. The sound of rain itself was lilting. Sometimes darkness IS pretty. It kept the intensity for a while and slowly the force at which the water came down started decreasing but it was such a smooth transition, you hardly notice. It came down to a graceful drizzle...everything that I could see from my balcony, the apartment building, the trees, the lawn, the cycles and the few cars that were parked, looked so fresh, clean and happy. I took the last and the longest sip of tea and I remembered it was time to finish my tea break and go back indoors to get some serious studying done.

As I got back inside I was thinking if I would have even bothered or noticed it rained if I didn't have an interview to prepare for? Its such a tease when things like this occur to you when you have so many other things to take care of..Hmm!

I am my father's daughter.

I woke up to what seemed like a perfect morning. Ate, relaxed, took a shower, saw a movie, caught up on some news. There was a new hope in life. I answered every phone call with great enthusiasm expecting some good news. Every call I answered was a little disappointment but I told myself, 'everything good takes time, may be they'll call tomorrow'. The very few souls left in college station had also gone to Dallas for the long weekend and I was surprised no one told me they were going but its OK, I thought.

Just a few more days and I'll be there, with a new apartment, wake up on a new bed, have new responsibilities to worry about, drink coffee in a hurry to avoid being late to office, drive in the traffic for 30 minutes and look at my watch ten times in a second, come back tired in the evening, watch TV as I cook my dinner, sleep early to wake up early and wait for Friday evening, catch up on sleep, laundry, Indian restaurant and friends on weekends, look for deals to fly to India, drive to CS to meet with friends because I'd miss them..Hmm...just a few more days for all that to be a reality ...

And so like some reflex action, I pick up the laptop and open my mailbox. I don't know why I ever check mails because good news seldom come in emails, but you know how I am sometimes totally devoid of logic, I open my mailbox at a wierd 11 0'clock in the night and what was awaiting me?! Lo and Behold ! a mail from the HR of the company that I have been building my every hope on, that my every dream manages to capture! I dont even have to open to see what s inside, its always the same ' Oh you are so great and its surprising how someone so extraordinary could be walking on the face of the earth, and its a stroke of great luck how you have everything we ever want in a hire but we are messed up like that and we have no clue why we can't hire you but oh, you have the privilege of getting your resume stored in our hall of fame database for the next random # of months only to be overwritten by another unsuspecting candidate's file, thank you! '. Inspite of knowing the lines very well I still open these mails and the only word I ever manage to spot is 'regret'.

I rewind and try to see what was wrong but am left as clueless as all the earlier times I have seen this kind of mail. This time it was a little more disappointing because I hoped a little too much ( the word little is really not little!) . I am ashamed but I have to agree, I couldn't stop the tears much as I fought them. It felt like everything around me was falling apart. After all the fussing and crying was over, my eyes were dry and I was tired of being disappointed. Then I thought, it was n't really the end of life. This wasn't how I was raised to react to life's minor adversities. My dad fought his every way up. He struggled to get everything and anything he ever wanted. He didn't have friends to call him every time he was unhappy, he didnt need anybody to tell him to fight it out and have confidence. He can proudly claim to be a self-made man and look at me, I need people to tell me I am good. I need people for me to restore my confidence in me. If I had even a trace of his traits I should n't have reacted the way I did today.

I finally told myself, I am going to fight this out in every possible way I can. I am going to take the hard times and live through it and live it well and I do believe there's no way I can't get what I want. I will give whatever it takes to get past this phase and look back and smile. The day when I look back and the feeling of having fought well fills me is not very far for afterall I am my father's daughter!

Thanks V, Pri, A, Dana and PP for being there!